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Bucks County, PA, United States
In addition to her award-winning young adult fiction, Diana Muñoz Stewart runs her own company providing content for websites and blogs on health, writing, and family. She earned her Bachelor’s degree in English Literature from Rowan University and a Master’s degree in Creative Writing from the Stonecoast, University of Southern Maine. When she’s not writing, she can be found kayaking in her backyard or hiking with her kids and the man who’s made her heart race and palms sweat since their devoted teen years.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

My Cat Is Not That Fat

Jake (female) recently put on raw diet.



My cat is not that fat. Okay, she's not super skinny, but she's not huge. And yet, people who come to my house or who see a picture of her online act like I have the fattest cat in the world. This is not the case. I looked up the fattest cat in the world. Jake is not even close. Okay, admittedly, there's no fattest cat consensus--Guinness used to have a fat cat category, but suspended it believing it would lead people to overfeed their cats--but there is a top ten of fat cats. The top ten fat cats are all over thirty pounds. My cat weighs 15 pounds. She's slender by comparison!

So suck it, people who keep telling me my cat is ginormous. Also, I reject your use of ginormous as a word. I don't care what Webster's says.

Even though my cat is not THAT fat, I still think she might have confused food with love. She was a feral cat and had neither food or love for three months of her life. The sudden appearance of both, may have confused her little cat brain. I'm trying to teach her love is love, so I've put her on a diet. Not that there's anything wrong with being a confused chubby cat. I mean, what exactly does everyone have against fat cats anyway? Maybe it all stems from that old saying about the fat cats in Washington. Real fat cats never hurt anyone. They can't jump that high. But you definitely don't want to piss off a skinny cat. Case in point...





5 comments:

  1. Hahahhaaa! That's what she gets for kicking snow at the cat!

    Honey, I hate to break it to you, but those thirty pound cats are also BIGGER cats, in that they have bigger frames and are more than likely male. Your girl is kinda teensy. Just look at her head! Ha!

    I love a fat cat. They're so rolly-polly and cute. Sadie was a fat cat, and she's a big cat, but when Gyro came, she slimmed down some due to playing with him so much. It's adorable. And now she can clean her own ass! (Don't ask. It's disgusting.)

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    1. Hahaha! So what you're telling me, Terri-Lynne, is that my cat is short and fat! Too funny.
      It's nice of you not to bring up the fact that I blame the cat for confusing food and love when I'm the one who is feeding her!

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    2. I know all about the problems chubby cats have with cleaning their own asses!

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  2. It's ok, our cats are fat too ;) it's probably a good thing from their perspective. We have at least two cats that i wouldn't want to carry up the steps unless I absolutely had to. I'm convinced that a major accomplishment in a cat's existence, to them, is hitting a weight that makes them too much of a burden for most humans to pick up.

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    1. Hahaha! Andrew, I can see your point--cats are sneaky that way.

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